Stay (Discretion Ch. 2)
Jun. 8th, 2017 05:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nrgburstFandom: Compilation of FFVII
Characters: Rufus Shinra/Reeve Tuesti
Rating/Warnings: M, smut, reference to canon-typical homophobia
Word Count: around 4000
Summary: Not really sure how to feel about it/something in the way you move/makes me feel like I can't live without you
The idyllic week spent together eventually made it harder to reflect on what the future held.
Not at first though. At first they were both too intent on bringing weeks of denial to a head to worry overmuch about what came after.
The helicopter ride to Rocket Town, with Elena and Tseng clearly visible through the doorway to the pilot compartment, had never seemed so long. Now that he knew, Reeve hungered for physical confirmation, and from the way Rufus was gripping his knees and staring at the glimpse of skin behind Reeve’s open collar, he’d also come to the end of his vaunted self-control.
So they deliberately sat across from each other and talked about Shinra Co.’s next project --a hydroelectric generator in Gongaga-- and WRO highway construction to distract themselves in the interim. And if it was a little forced at first, it was also like falling back into a dynamic they had both dearly missed- they really had a lot to catch up on. The strategy proved effective enough—until Rocket Town came into view out the windows and the sense of barely restrained anticipation took hold of both of them again.
Upon arrival, Rufus immediately addressed the Turks.
“A security detail will not be necessary. I want you on perimeter watch while the Commissioner is here.”
Tseng blinked with dismay, and the Turks exchanged looks of consternation. They were all aware of the President’s growing… rapport with Tuesti—they’d all had shifts in Edge, and observed just how “friendly” their meetings had become. But it was virtually impossible to protect him from a distance, so there were always at least two of them within earshot, if not standing just behind him.
“Respectfully, sir- that would drastically compromise your security. We can remain just outside the rooms in use if you require privacy.”
Rufus shook his head, frowning a little at the unexpected delay. “Your objections are noted. But those are my orders. I will use the intercom if I need assistance.”
Tseng pressed his lips together and inclined his head deferentially. “Of course, sir.” He gave them one last worried look as they entered the mansion, signaling the other Turks to assume perimeter positions, but he decided to drop by the kitchens. He could ask the house and ground staff to remain on alert and ready to call for help, at least.
Rufus then waved away his butler’s offer to take Reeve’s bag and took it himself, now visibly impatient.
“I am perfectly capable of escorting my guest. Your assistance is not required.”
His butler balked. “-Sir?! I must protest-”
Reeve was rather bemused himself, but he’d witnessed Rufus flout expectations enough that he could take it in stride. “I promise it isn’t heavy,” he reassured him as they strode past.
And if the rest of the house staff were equally astonished when Rufus led the Commissioner down the corridors towards his own bedroom instead of the guest rooms, he was too preoccupied to notice.
They dropped all pretenses as soon as he shut the door behind them.
Reeve wasn’t sure who reached out first, only that kissing Rufus at last was gloriously electric.
“Lord, I thought I was going to go mad,” Rufus gasped when they finally came up for air. “You have the self restraint of a saint.”
Reeve huffed a laugh before kissing him again. The euphoria was almost dizzying, to fit his mouth and slide his tongue against Rufus’ and feel his hands clutching at his neck and shoulders, that strong swimmer’s body in his arms. “Hardly. I had to literally force myself to limit contact with you.”
“I soon realized you were deliberately creating distance, and why. And it was the purest torture to realize there was no way to dissuade you until the project had run its course,” Rufus complained, tracing Reeve’s neat beard, as if he’d often wondered about how it would feel under his fingertips. “I debated deliberately causing an engine malfunction to get an unscheduled meeting again,” he confessed.
Reeve huffed a laugh of disbelief as he pulled him closer. “Well, I’m grateful you refrained.”
Rufus chuckled. “Oh, I’m sure my father would have been appalled that I let anything stand in the way of what I wanted.”
He paused and hesitated before looking away. “…I must confess- I’ve… never been with a man before. I confronted a number of truths when I was poised at Death’s door. I used to believe I had to suppress my… innate preferences when I feared what they revealed. However, building relationships has always been… challenging for me, and after Shinra’s fall from grace...”
Reeve nodded. There’d been plenty of tabloid coverage about Rufus’ string of actress girlfriends back in the day- part of why he’d fought his instincts, believed that his feelings were painfully inappropriate. But he was also very familiar with the struggle to be out, and as handsome as Rufus was, he was also far too recognizable to go on that journey with any expectation of anonymity or privacy. “We can explore our options at a pace you’re comfortable with. As you’re aware, I can be very patient.”
Rufus licked his lips unconsciously as he ran a hand down Reeves chest. “I promise I’m a quick study at most things. And I’ve already done some research and… preparation.”
Reeve glanced at the bedside table, where an assortment of lube and condoms awaited, and raised a brow, smiling teasingly. “And here I thought you asked me to dinner.”
Rufus grinned wickedly and tugged him towards the bed. “I promise to feed you eventually. But I thought we could work up an appetite, first. After all, we are on vacation, Reeve…”
Reeve smiled wider. That was the first time Rufus had ever used his first name.
“I’m actually not hungry for food,” he said lightly, eyes heating with anticipation, and Rufus laughed again before Reeve kissed him soundly.
Reeve was well aware of Rufus’ ability to completely, unswervingly focus on a goal, but it was something else to feel it applied to him.
He’d expected more inhibitions from someone who’d only experienced sex with women, but Rufus was as eager as he had professed. He loved the revelation and desire in Rufus’ eyes, the almost narcotic hook of fulfillment with every embrace, every time Rufus even gasped his name.
It still stunned both of them to discover how good it felt for him to be penetrated.
The act was one that required trust and preparation, so they didn’t attempt it until they’d been lovers for a couple days, and only after Reeve had thoroughly opened him up with both his mouth and his fingers. Then he thrust inside slowly, kissing Rufus to keep him relaxed.
Reeve was ready to stop, but the younger man made no recognizable complaints. His cock went from half erect to achingly hard, and it prodded and painted precum all over Reeve’s stomach as Reeve eased deeper and deeper.
Once he was buried to the hilt, Reeve stroked his cheek and sought to meet his eyes, adamantly clinging to self-control despite how hot and tight and good it felt. Rufus was obviously completely focused on the sensations inside him, eyes shut as he panted, but Reeve needed confirmation, and the sounds Rufus was making were rather incoherent.
“Am I hurting you at all?”
Rufus made a jerky shake of his head and clutched at Reeve with his hands and legs, as if trying to prevent any attempt at withdrawal. “-No!” he managed, and he gave a blissful cry when Reeve thrust in and out experimentally.
So much better than fantasy, Reeve thought triumphantly, relishing Rufus’ rapturous response, his face and body taut and flushed in ecstatic surrender. His obvious pleasure allowed him to relax into his own, and he began to thrust into Rufus with a rhythm as old as time.
It was too cathartically intense for either of them to last very long, and within a couple minutes Rufus began to shudder uncontrollably, the pleasure building to an unbearable crescendo before it finally exploded through his body, the glorious force of it catapulting Reeve right along with him.
They lay in a heap of panting, blissed out flesh for a few minutes until Rufus swallowed and ran tentative hands down Reeve’s back, resting his cheek against his.
“That… was...”
Rufus trailed off, seemingly unable to find adequate words, and Reeve lifted himself up and brushed his hair back tenderly, humbled by the naked emotion in his eyes.
“For me, too,” he assured him gently.
Rufus inhaled shakily before he quickly pulled Reeve down for a kiss.
Reeve kissed him back just as ardently, understanding.
Even for a man as articulate as Rufus, some words were still too hard to say.
In fact, outside of the bedroom, Rufus also remained carefully circumspect.
He maintained a polite distance between them and continued to refer to Reeve formally, despite the fact that his staff had to be aware that they were sleeping together.
They’d spent most of the first two days of their holiday in his bedroom, and being rather fastidious, Rufus had often asked for the sheets to be changed while they dined or enjoyed the pool or games room.
When Reeve pointed this out, Rufus frowned before inclining his head reflectively. “…I despised when my father behaved inappropriately in front of our staff. There was nothing quite as repugnant as watching my old man grope some lady guest at dinner, or witnessing our sommelier exit the wine cellar in a fluster because my father had taken a woman down there for a “tour”.”
Reeve raised his brows and nodded. He remembered well how they’d all had to turn a blind eye to the former President’s “excesses” in the office- he’d never considered that Rufus would have been subject to more of the same at home. “…Of course- how shortsighted of me to forget. I was simply worried you were ashamed of what we were doing. Or of me,” he admitted.
Rufus reached out to touch his arm, thinking for a moment before speaking. “…If the public were aware, both Shinra Co. and the WRO might suffer. But I believe my staff will remain discreet about my choice of… companion. Most of them have been in my employ for years; they often… worry… that I am lonely. And I want you to know just how much I respect you. How delighted I am that you are here.”
Reeve flushed with pleasure at the words and tentatively covered Rufus’ hand with his, squeezing gently. “The feeling is very mutual. I’ve never had to consider household staff walking in on private moments before, but I will try to be more mindful.”
Rufus smiled tentatively. “I suppose I shouldn’t let a terrible role model be my guide in these matters, either,” he conceded, and Reeve smiled warmly, sitting back.
“I told you we could take this at whatever pace you were comfortable with. I meant that.”
Rufus seemed to struggle for a moment before giving him a searching look.
“It used to baffle me, wondering how you’d risen to Executive burdened with so much empathy. You have no idea how deeply I appreciate your capacity for understanding now.”
But he understood in return when Reeve’s phone jolted them out of sleep early the next morning: Shelke was heedless of things like time differences, and she’d categorized enough matters as urgent to override Cait’s restrictions on contacting the Commissioner.
Unperturbed, Rufus set him up in a room with computers and a conference cam and then dispatched his butler with coffee, to Reeve’s effusive relief.
He conducted meetings with various WRO officers, got up to speed on proposal revisions and queued tasks for Cait for the next couple of hours. He probably would have kept going too, had Rufus not decided to interrupt in a black Speedo, hair and skin still damp from a swim.
“Breakfast is ready by the pool,” he announced quietly, smirking when the sight of him immediately got Reeve’s rapt attention.
On the other end of the call, Yuffie was fascinated by how Reeve’s train of thought utterly derailed and he tracked the motion of somebody off screen- she’d never seen that hungry look on his face before. And it took him a moment to collect his thoughts again once he looked back at the screens he had open.
“I- it seems I should be going now. We haven’t eaten yet, and… I trust Cait can handle further-“
“You’re not at the villa, are you?” she interrupted, eyes narrowing suspiciously as she studied the creamy ivory wall behind Reeve.
Reeve coughed, chagrined. “Ah…no. I, ah, ended up staying with somebody.”
Yuffie’s eyes lit up with delight. “Oooh, details, Reeve!” She ducked close to the screen, as if she could change the camera angle by sheer force of curiosity. “Is he hot? I want pictures!” she whispered conspiratorially.
“Goodbye, Yuffie,” he replied firmly, smiling as he moved to sever the connection.
“Spoilsp-“
Reeve made his way out to the pool after carefully shutting down Rufus’ state-of-the-art equipment. It was still occasionally shocking to realize the bottles of wine they enjoyed were worth tens of thousands of gil, or learn that there were first run films for them to enjoy in the theater room, but he was certainly appreciative of the luxurious surroundings. “Thank you for accommodating us on such emergency notice. Being able to conference call was most helpful.”
“Of course- I often have to use the same technology myself. I actually had little idea of what it was like to live any other way until I was taken captive. Over those months I… struggled, to say the least. It was sobering to realize I was hardly any worse off than my captors. Part of the price of being a Shinra has always been living in a gilded cage: leaving fortified buildings provides opportunities for kidnapping. Of course, money is power: security, comfort and even dreams can be bought. However, not everything has a purchasable replacement.”
He frowned darkly, lost in thought for a moment before he shook his head and abruptly changed the subject.
“What’s more of a pressing issue is that we didn’t get to start the morning right,” he said, raising a brow suggestively, and Reeve tilted his head and smiled.
“Too true. I’d love to remedy that after breakfast,” he suggested, gaze raking down Rufus’ body before meeting his eye again.
Rufus’ eyes gleamed with smug delight. “I do relish when our objectives are in accord.”
As the weekend drew closer, Reeve started dreading the inevitable end of the idyll.
It had been so long since he’d just let himself just relax and have a bit of fun, whether it was following a swim with a cocktail or enjoying friendly competition over the pool table or at the shooting range. Both the WRO and Shinra Co. still demanded attention from their respective heads upon occasion, but the respite was obviously just what he had needed. He felt energized, rejuvenated; almost radiant with satisfaction and enthusiasm for life.
Of course, a lot of that was also due to Rufus.
Being his lover was even more fulfilling than he had imagined. He’d looked forward to the thrumming chemistry of their conversations before, but with the freedom to be truly intimate, the sense of total synergy was mind-blowingly complete. It was humbling to learn more about each other, even the near-death experiences that had changed Rufus’ perspective so drastically.
And if Reeve felt a little self-conscious about the animatronic circuits he’d brought along to work on, Rufus made it clear that he didn’t find his hobby off-putting in the least, even setting up a workroom with tools and extra materials for him to tinker in. “You’re engineering something that consciously protects and amuses. I used to have a pet that did just that; I understand those sentiments well.”
And if Rufus sometimes asked for Reeve to put his nimble fingers on him instead for a few minutes, Reeve hardly needed any persuasion.
Reeve could admit to himself that if he’d been teetering dangerously on the brink before, he was unreservedly in love now. And thinking of going back to his life as it had been without Rufus in it made his chest ache terribly.
But he’d promised Rufus not once but twice that they would take this relationship at his pace, and all that he’d offered was a week of sexy fun times—a fling. They lived on different continents and headed very different organizations—turning this interlude into a lasting connection was fraught with both risk and logistical issues.
Still, he couldn’t help thinking that Rufus wanted more, too.
He was sure he wasn’t imagining the adoration in his eyes, how deeply they enjoyed each other; how even their tastes in music, food and movies seemed to mesh.
And he made love with a kind of desperate abandon now, as if he too hated that they were running out of time.
But he still said nothing, so Reeve kept his growing feelings to himself. Leaving was going to be painful enough without troublesome emotional revelations.
He told himself he could be satisfied with the memories, that he’d gotten more than he had dreamed already; that if they parted amicably, there was the possibility of another blissful holiday in the future.
He’d made his bed and he’d have to lie in it- it would have to be solace enough that he wasn't alone in it yet.
Their last night together was passionately intense- they stumbled to bed straight after an early dinner and made love several times before finally falling asleep completely exhausted. And yet Reeve woke to feel Rufus fondling his cock, realizing blearily from the darkened room that it wasn’t quite morning yet.
Rufus kissed him, long and lingering, once Reeve stirred awake. “Again?” he asked breathlessly, and Reeve smiled wryly. He was still weary from the previous night’s exertions, but he was loathe to deny either of them.
“…You’ve become absolutely insatiable.”
“Are you complaining?” he asked, and Reeve chuckled with lazy compliance as Rufus kissed his way down his body.
A few minutes later, he was still sleepy as he sat up against the pillows so Rufus could mount him, and it was like something half out of a dream, kissing and holding his lover as he rode, slow and gentle, trying to draw out the pleasure.
“Goddess, Reeve, you feel so good,” he moaned, and for long minutes the sublime pleasure was enough, their hearts thudding and bodies moving in delicious synchrony.
Despite the unspoken wish to sustain their lovemaking for as long as possible, the slow building of pleasure still pushed them both closer and closer to the inevitable. And despite all attempts to delay, that feedback loop was designed with one conclusion.
Rufus fought to hold off orgasm until he was almost mindless. Then as if a leash had snapped, he stepped up the depth and tempo frantically.
“Damn it, Reeve. I need this! I need you!” he gasped, desperate, unwilling, before he gave a long, inarticulate cry, and Reeve shouted with relief as finally he let go too, aware only of Rufus on top of him, around him, in his arms as ecstasy whited out everything else.
Afterward, instead of holding each other in the shuddering aftermath as usual, Rufus collapsed onto the bed beside him and turned away abruptly, curling up as if in agony.
Taken aback, Reeve turned and touched him tentatively.
“…Rufus?!”
Rufus shook his head, unable to speak for several seconds, and Reeve was stunned to realize he was on the verge of tears. “…I told myself that once we’d slaked our desires sufficiently, I could regain my equilibrium. Wanting you was driving me to such distraction that I decided to act while I could compensate for the risks, and yet…the more I’m with you, the more I want. I can’t seem to control my feelings- and I can’t bear…” He gripped at the sheets and grimaced.
Reeve closed his eyes, the rush of emotion making his eyes and nose sting. “Once again, it seems that we are in complete accord. I’ve known all along that this was just supposed to be one stolen week. But against all my better reasoning, it appears that I’ve lost my heart…”
Rufus stilled and turned abruptly, searching Reeve’s eyes with a kind of fearful hope. “You have?” he managed.
“I thought I was rather obvious about it,” Reeve said ruefully, and Rufus choked out a laugh before he kissed Reeve with a mix of desperate relief and grief.
If only the circumstances were different. If only one of us were anybody else.
Rufus pulled back, shaking his head guiltily. “Despite all my efforts, it seems I’m very much my father’s son. I know better than to risk the future of both my company and the WRO for personal gratification... And yet I keep wondering if there is some way to lure you away from the organization we both know Gaia desperately needs…”
Reeve sighed and held him tight. They both knew he was irreplaceable at the WRO- nobody else had the relevant skills, experience and temperament to be Commissioner, and the multiple emergencies he’d had to tend to even with Cait acting in his stead only underscored that fact. “Surely we can arrange to meet discreetly, without having to take such drastic measures. We’re not the first two people living apart to want to spend time together, and we have enough resources to make that happen. I have to believe that we can manage to schedule an occasional weekend together, even if I have to take a Chocobo to Gongaga.”
Rufus frowned thoughtfully, inhaling. “...After so many years of poaching talent and acquiring companies, I hadn’t pictured a compromise. …I can easily send the chopper for you. But you’d need to be available. And I happen to know that you work right through scheduled leave time,” he said dryly.
Reeve chuckled, feeling some of the knots in his stomach loosen at last. “So do you,” he pointed out.
Rufus raised a brow and grinned unrepentantly. “The success of my company was always more important than my own recreation. Besides, I never had a compelling reason to take a day off—until you.”
Moved, Reeve pulled Rufus closer. “I see no reason I can't make you my priority as well, the way most do with their loved ones. I’m sure people will understand if I take weekends to visit the boyfriend I met while on holiday.”
Rufus flushed with unexpected pleasure at the words but still hesitated. “Won’t they be curious about my identity?”
Reeve raised his brows reflectively. “I'm probably going to have to actively deter Yuffie, but it’s nobody’s business but ours. An unfortunate reality, but everyone is aware that it’s often safer in the closet for gay men.”
Rufus nodded, finally relaxing and settling against Reeve. “Indeed- safer for everybody.”
Reeve took it as a good omen that the rising sun peeked in through the windows just then, light spilling across the bed.
Determination and passion can go a long way towards making a plan work, he reminded himself, and when he kissed Rufus in a silent pledge, he was heartened by how Rufus pulled him close and kissed him back with utter certainty.
He was given even more reason to believe in the strength of this risky, tentative attachment a couple hours later.
Reno and Rude were assigned to fly Reeve to Costa Del Sol, where he would take the ferry back as planned. They were already in the cockpit, running through systems checks.
Reeve had assumed Rufus would maintain the initial pretense of a friendly visit- the Turks had been on perimeter security the whole time, and even in front of his house staff, Rufus was skittish about physical displays of affection.
They’d already said a proper goodbye in his bedroom, so Reeve made a couple warm, grateful statements about enjoying Rufus’ company and hospitality before giving him a friendly clap on the shoulders.
But Rufus stopped him before he could step away, eyes turbulent.
“Oh, the hell with it,” Rufus swore before he pulled Reeve down and kissed him until both of them were breathless.
“The Turks deserve a bit of excitement after a week of tedious perimeter watch, anyway,” he declared, eyes gleaming.
Reeve laughed, too elated to care much about Reno audibly spluttering with shock. One thing for sure- being in any relationship with Rufus would never be boring.
A.N.: One of the things that has always bothered me about this fandom is how most fic totally ignores character reactions that are obviously homo/trans phobic in the original game? It's all played for laughs, and since show >>> tell, I wanted a fic that recognized that reality in their society, even if I had to write it myself. Feel free to tell me if you think I got it wrong/am being problematic etc. Happy to discuss and/or edit!
